Darin Hollingsworth, our crack 24:7 Middle School Ministry Coordinator, came across a great article on cyberbullying.  Please take time to check out the link.  By the way, if you are a parent of a pre-teen, this is a MUST read article. 

http://www.myfoxboston.com/dpp/news/special_reports/cyberbullying-what-words-on-the-web-really-mean-to-teens

I am looking out my window and watching a load of snow dropping onto the DFW ground (Yes, I said it, DFW ground)  It is awesome!  A snowfall like this does not happen that often in our part of the country.  So, even though it can cause hassles for travel and work, it can also create great moments for you and your teenager to enjoy.   For instance, tonight in the Fraze Home is "snow-fight-movie-popcorn-time-with-a-fire" night (Marshmallows optional).  And tomorrow, with local schools closed,  more of the same.  Yes--good times!  Be creative and create memories!

Now, just for fun, I would like to share a video.  Before watching, let me give you a little background.  Today at RHCC (Richland Hills church of christ) I was the acting executive minister.  As acting executive I had to work with our talented senior staff and local school officials in making a call on whether or not we were going to remain open for the remainder of the business day or close early.  I chose to close the office early.  Here's the funny part, being the "youth ministry guy," when the word came through that David Fraze was closing the office early a few of our staff members replied, "Really?  Is this a joke?"  After the reality of the early release was confirmed, I shot a quick video to send around to the staff that demonstrated my incredible weather prediction abilities.  Enjoy! 

    As a Dad and “father-like” figure in the lives of teenagers, I know the impact I have in my kid’s life.   However, I am also very aware of my own limitations and failures as a father/father-like figure. The knowledge of these two truths often creates a dramatic conflict inside men.  As dads and father figures, how do we deal with our shortcomings and failures?  

We have had a guest speaker visiting our High School class at 24:7.  The one-and-only DeeWayne Cullum has been talking about the life of Peter and helping us determine what we are pursuing in life! He has even brought cartoons to help illustrate his material (go by 24:7 and check out the Looney Toons-like decorations).

Last Wednesday night he gave us two questions to consider.  Questions that I want to hold up again to our students and for the adults who read this blog to consider.  Why?  They really do help focus our spiritual journey.  So, find a quite place (maybe even a cup of coffee--that's my personal favorite beverage of contemplation) and spend time reflecting on answering the following questions:

What defines who you are?

What is your life's pursuit?

Now, DeeWayne started class with a quote from Rob Bell and I would love for you to end your time of reflection by pointing your finger to yourself and say (if you are in public, you may not want to do this out loud), "Our job is the relentless pursuit of who God made us to be.  Anything else is sin and we need to repent! "

By now we have all heard about the little boy with long hair who can't go to school without cutting his hair to meet district requirements.  As a matter of fact, it was the lead topic on a local, conservative talk radio show this week.  They were discussing the "hair crisis in our local school district" as another example of how our public school system is getting taken over by "the man" (whoever that is).   Schools should worry about "helping johnny read" and get out of the "hair business" was heard repeatedly.  

Two words, "Oh, Brother!"  I was totally taken back by how passionate and ridiculous callers were sounding and how, with all that is going on in culture, this item was being considered "news worthy." 

As mentioned in Part I of Hair and Texting, parents and adults deliver the moral cues that shape our children's moral understanding--what is right and wrong.   As a parent of a long haired child, we keep the length to the acceptable district standards.  Why?  It is a rule!   By the way, as an educator, I know that rules of dress and conduct are needed in order to provide a safe and open learning environment. Such an environment actually does help "Johnny read." What is the young man with long hair learning from this experience?  If you don't like a rule, throw a fit and get it changed.  The irony of conservative talk show hosts calling this attempt by a district to uphold policy an attack on freedom is actually helping destroy conservative principles (Not that long haired is evil, but that rules and procedures don't matter). 

As you can see, I am rather passionate about this because I see, on a regular basis, the consequences that a lack of respect for rules and procedures brings into a teenager's life. 

So, for all of us--adult and teenager, before you start a revolution (I agree that some rules do need to be challenged--with respect) let us consider the moral implications of our actions.

I had another one of those "are you kidding me?" moments while driving to work yesterday.  I had just passed a billboard warning about the dangers of texting and driving (by the way, we like to get onto teenage drivers but adults struggle with this problem as well).  While I was contemplating the reasons why we (including myself here) can't stop communicating while driving a moving vehicle, I turned and notice ALL three drivers to my left were texting under the billboard warning of such behavior!  The fourth driver was not texting, BUT fixing her hair (not the small stuff but the full-on-styling-type fixing)! The irony of the behavior was humorous but made me think.

I imagine that each of the adults in those cars would not want their teenager's doing such things while driving a moving vehicle.  They would want their student to focus on the road and on all those "other drivers" doing such terrible things.  Yet, for whatever reason (I doubt all of them had an emergency at the same time--unless they all worked at the same place and...Um…probably not!), these adults where doing the very thing they would not want their teenagers to do.  What if their teenager witnessed such behavior?  If I was a teenager, I would want to know why I had to obey the law they obviously did not have to obey (maybe you were a better teenager than me, but that is what I would do)?

Thought number one:  Teenagers learn their moral cues from adult direction and modeling.  This is not a revolutionary point and is not up for debate.  Educators, doctors, researchers, parents...we all know this truth and have morally developed in this fashion. 

"But what about friends?" you say.

Well, friends do influence moral behavior.  However, mom, dad, family and the surrounding community, whether good or bad, STILL hold the priority position in moral development. So, adults need to be consistent in word and deed when it comes to our own moral decisions--they [teenagers] are watching our lead.

Thought number two:  Teenagers are individuals and have to take the moral cues taught and modeled and put them into practice themselves.  This is a hard one for me, but again; you know it is true.  A teenager can be raised in a family and be surrounded by adults that teach and practice the most conservative of moral values and still choose a life of moral depravity.  Again, a heartbreaking reality.  Yet, we have a God who calls the prodigal's home (some of you know this personally)!  This truth does not give us permission to lower our moral consistency as adults.  It does however help us relax a little and realize God is at work in the lives of the teenagers we love so much.  Our job is to follow Christ and set a great example for those in our lives who are watching and learning from our moral cues.

One more thought for parents:  If you have recently turned your life around and made Jesus Lord of your life, you are enjoying great peace of forgiveness and looking forward to a great adventure of living for Him!  You will want and should share this new found joy and purpose with your teenager(s).  It is something they need as well.  Even so, be sure to approach the subject prayerfully and with great patience.  Remember, as the priority player in your child's moral development, your change may cause friction between you and your child.  They may even call you a "hypocrite" when you tell them certain behaviors are no longer accepted in your house.   Stay calm, acknowledge their feelings and use such moments to share your story of conversion--with load of love. 

I know, that is a lot of thought derived from a drive to work.  But hopefully the next time you text while driving, you will remember there is much more at play than motor safety.

I have really enjoyed the snow(s) we have been having recently.  It adds so much to the season and makes for great times with family.  HOWEVER, I have been reminded that the absence of frequent "snow events" in the DFW area makes driving rather treacherous or down right impossible at times.  Simply put, people drive too fast or come to a complete stop resulting in all kinds of problems, especially on overpasses.

Last week's Christmas Eve Candlelight worship was awesome (Again, the snow made it seem more Christmassy--Is that a word?).  After the 6 p.m. assembly, I headed back to the North Country (Haslet) with my family.  Traffic was moving fairly well until we reached the 287 Bridge over 35 west.  The traffic had stopped (did I mention stopping is bad?)!  Cars and trucks were spread out all over the bridge causing all types of problems.  Not having a choice, I had to stop and immediately begin to slide to my right (I stopped the slide with cool and calm corrections--I didn't even cry).  We did not move for about 10 minutes...until...I spotted a group of cars moving through the confusion up ahead.  Knowing the bridge was again passable, I began moving around and through the stationary vehicles with slow, steady and constant speed.  Long story short, we got home safe and sound (I need to add that our car did not make it up the driveway and spent Christmas Morning in the street).  And now...a lesson learned from this experience:

Lesson:  Slow and steady really does win the race (Thank you Mr. Turtle).   When seeing the icy conditions develop, some drivers ignore the danger and speed up to "get home" before it gets worse.  Others, arrogantly, ignore the dangers ice brings on the road and end up spinning out of control.  On the other hand, some drivers panic when they feel a little slip or see a little ice and stop (sometimes in the middle of an ice pack).  Traction is lost and they too spin and/or slide out of control.  Keeping a constant rate of travel is key in traveling across icy/snowy roads. It is also a key in progressing in your faith journey. The Parable of the Sower (Jesus), the references to competition and perseverance (Paul) and many other verses found in the bible support the notion that slow and steady movement is what is needed to deepen your walk with Christ.  Those who ignore the "dangers" found in the world can be caught of guard and spin out of control.  Those who fearfully disengage from the world and stop all contact, paralyzed by the "dangers," will cease to progress in their faith.  Yep, slow and steady is a key.  Consider these words from Paul:

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press    on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained. -Phil. 3:12ff

This will be my last Blog before Christmas.  I am taking some time off to be with family, friends and the Lord.  But before I sign off, for a week or so, I wanted to remind all of us to focus on the truly important things this Holiday Season.  No!  I am not talking about the Nintendo DSi games system or the latest I Phone (whatever number) G. I am not even talking about watching the Christmas Story--all day on TBS or catching Charlie Brown's or Rudolph's Christmas specials (however, such activities could involve one of the most important things).

Here is the reminder I share with all of us, spend time thanking the father for the gift of His son and thank Him for the family and friends we have been given to share this wonderful life (no pun intended) with.  Just a reminder, for those who are facing less than perfect "family conditions," remember you are part of a wonderful family of Christ at 24:7 that loves you very much!  Yes, we are a blessed people! 

Let me add a challenge.  There are plenty of people running around in a daze trying to get the latest and greatest gift.  There are also a number of people in a daze trying to cope with a myriad (a lot) of emotional pains.  Be a source of light in darkness this Christmas Season! How?  Here are a number of ideas for us to try:

Open doors

Use Manners

Smile at people

Park at the back of the parking lot

Don't fight over a place in a check out line

Slow down (driving, walking, talking...just slow down)

Sing (really!)

Listen to people talk (simple but important)

In short, notice people who need a kind word and/or smile (when you open your eyes to this you will be amazed at the number of opportunities the Lord provides)

These acts of kindness often lead to opportunities for sharing the reason for the season (cheesy but it works)!  Remember, it was a bunch of shepherds (common people) who first heard about a child that changed the world.  Look for the common people that surround us each day, people that need to hear the good news that "...a Savior has been born; Christ the Lord."

So, from the Fraze Family,  MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

It is Monday and I am still exhausted and a little hoarse from Saturday night's Big 12 Championship game (My son and I made a promise to lose our voices at the game).  If you are a football fan and watched the game, you know why I am exhausted--I am a NEBRASKA FAN!   I have and will always be a Husker (It's a family thing). 

What a fun and emotional game.  With 1:45 left to play--we won!  With Texas driving into the red zone--we lost!  With no time on the clock (controversy)--we won!  With a second put back on the clock and a follow up field go (clutch Texas play and great, spiritual encouragement from Shipley--way to go)--we lost! Being in the stands to witness the drama with my son (A Longhorn fan--makes for a lot of fun smack talk) and brother-in-law and his son (also Longhorn fans) was a blast and a memory we will not forget.

Okay, I want you to look closely at the picture.  Right above Braeden's cap bill, do you see it?  Do you?  A little perspective--I was sitting in a see of Orange (my brother-in-law got the tickets).  Even so, the outstanding Husker Red dot was expected.  Now, back to the picture.  Right above my son's cap bill is a spot of differing color, Aggie Maroon.  I was impressed!  In a stadium filled with Texas Orange and Nebraska Red, this fan did not compromise his loyalty and proudly wore Aggie Maroon.   Who knows how much "treatment" this guy received walking from the parking lot to the stadium (Kind of like the treatment I received while wearing a Nebraska Jersey to an RHCC elders meeting).  Still, he proudly wore his colors. 

Here is the question that comes to my mind: Do we have like minded courage to stand for Christ and represent His colors (demonstrated in righteous living) while living in a world that is so supportive of our enemies' colors? 

It is amazing how ferocious and proudly we wear the colors of atheltic team loyalties (it is a lot of fun).   The illustration breaks down a bit here (we don't want to "smack talk" as Christians).  However, we could all step up our dedication to upholding our team colors!

Go Team!

Well, after a great time of Thanksgiving with the family, I am back in the swing of things at 24:7. We are working on finishing up '09 and planning for '10. As always, I am having a blast working with one of the best youth ministry teams in the world (this includes all the adults who make our youth ministry outstanding).

Okay, as I was heading back to work this week I had an interesting conversation with myself in my car. Before you say, "David talks to himself in the car?" know that it is not out loud (I do sing out loud at times—my family can tell you of this habit), you need to admit you do the same thing as well (I hope so!). The conversation was on the topic of how angry and aggressive the drivers were being on the road that morning (I was listening to Christmas music, since it is "officially" okay now, and was in a rather jovial mood).

"What makes people so angry?" I said to my self.

"Well, they're late, having a bad morning, they hate their job, etc...." came my response to myself.

Then I saw this sign as I passed a local car wash-ateria: "More time and pressure for your money!" Hmmmm. I know that anger comes from many sources (not wanting to be too reductionistic—graduate school word) but perhaps a lot of our anger comes from our inability to manage our money in a balanced fashion (did you see the videos from Black Friday?—Crazy!).

So, my conversation ended with this profound thought, "Perhaps a little less focus on money and need for stuff would lead us all to a more casual, less pressured lifestyle. I believe Jesus had a lot to say about that:).

And then, the conversation ended—not a bad commute!

It is amazing how fast time flies by and we are once again at the "

So, let me say a week before the actual event (I am about to take a week off with family—my family rocks), Happy Thanksgiving!

It has been and continues to be a crazy year of ups and downs (mostly downs) in the financial world's local and abroad. In light of this, many who have lost jobs and suffering financial strain may be thinking "what is there to be thankful for?" Well...there is plenty to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Here comes the response, "How can you answer this question when you have a job?" And...response, I learned a lot from my Father's job loss when I was teenager.

A little context is needed. My mom was an elementary school cafeteria manager and my father a purchasing agent. Both of my parents, being raised during the Great Depression (my parents were older than most of my friend's parents—I am thankful for this gift), knew how to get by with little and "make due" with the resources they had. In other words, we did not get caught up in debt situations often and did without things until we could pay for them (my mom was the queen of Layaway programs). This made it difficult to keep up with the Joneses (whoever they are). Even so, I had a wonderful childhood filled with great memories and plenty of "stuff." My junior year, my dad lost his job. This put a dent in the family budget and put a halt on much of my spending patterns—teenagers have always loved to spend. Around seven years later my father passed away after a long term illness. So...that's the context.

What did I learn during this time? In short, while I like the things money can buy (houses, cars, clothes, trips, etc.); these things can be gone in an instant. The things that last are faith, family and friends. I know it sounds like a greeting card, but it is true. Oh, one more thing I learned during the time, we seemed to have enough (money and resources) to get by. And were did the "enough" come from? Yes, mom's job and dad's unemployment provided the base, but faith, family and friends chipped in as well. Someone from the church would give me $20 to put gas in the truck and take out my girlfriend, the church paid my way to camp and mission trips (they invested in my faith future) and odd jobs appeared at just the right time (odd is a true description—I even made those can- holding-hard-hat-contraptions that often appear at tail gate events).

Thanksgiving may be filled with unforeseen hardship this year, but look around you and be thankful. Faith, family and friends are what it is all about.

Happy Thanksgiving!

"People over Programs!" is a phrase (no pun intended) that has been part of my ministry and youth ministry teaching for years. It is a simple yet essential statement to keep in mind when working in any ministry. I am not saying cast aside all time management principles. I am saying to remember that ministry is about the people!

"Are not all programs about people?" comes the challenge.

"Yes and no" is my response. "Yes" in that all successful programs are essentially about people building and connection (this is another opinion--shared by others in ministry). But "No" in that program preparation, if not careful, can lead to emphasizing too much on the organizing of the event of ministry and not the people that the ministry event is intended to reach and/or encourage. In other words, ministers (and those involved in ministry) have to be open to interruptions to the normal routine of "ministry life." It has been my experience, that these divine interruptions (I don't know who came up with this term, but it indicates how God often interrupts our previously scheduled events and places us in ministry situations) are extremely rewarding and filled with great blessing.

So, the next time you have a lot to do and God offers one of His divine interruptions, don't get annoyed, make the most of the heavenly appointment. You could be standing on Holy Ground--Moses was when he was interrupted.

Ladies and Gentlemen of Blog World let me present to you Luis and Ray (Lou-Lou and Ray-Ray around RHCC). These two men are part of our excellent maintenance team that keep all of 24:7 running properly (they even get Jason and I light bulbs for our lamps). In short, they are great guys whose ministry makes it possible for us to do our jobs with excellence! Way to go guys (we will always share our coffee with you!).

By the way, I did say "Ministry." As Luis and Ray demonstrate, every job can be a ministry job. You don't have to be a full-time minister to go into ministry. Remember what the Apostle Paul wrote, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." (Colosians 3:23ff)

I wasted two hours today!

Well, they were not totally wasted. I did enjoy the time I spent working with one of our excellent tech guys. Nonetheless, the goal we were attempting to attain was not reached. All I wanted to do was combine the various calendars on my computer into one and sync "that" calendar with my phone (if you know how to do this, please don't explain the process to me—the pain would be too great).

"I know computers and phone sync stuff!" I thought to myself (this is where the wasted time began).

I decided to tinker along and see if I could find a solution to my problem. I downloaded this and combined that until I was convinced I had solved my problem.

Wrong! I ended up deleting my current calendar (with a year's worth of appointments) and the sync I attempted between my phone and computer (I thought this would help—my settings were wrong) resulted in a calendar loss from my phone. In short, I lost everything. Oopsie!

I am proud to say that I did not panic and/or throw a pity party. After a few moments, I found a copy hiding in a deleted items file. Yeah! I still don't know how to sync with my phone, but I have somewhat restored my calendar to its original setting. I was fortunate.

The thing that kills me is the time I wasted because I got into something I had little or no business getting into in the first place.

Have you ever finished (or survived) something and thought to yourself, "I have just wasted ______ hours of my life!" I have found this statement surfacing in my own life when experiencing the consequences (like a lost calendar) brought about by my own impatience or stepping into something beyond my expertise. Like today, a step back would have served me well. Such action would have allowed me time to gather advice from other "experts" and avoid the pain of calendar loss (being a little dramatic concerning the calendar but I am making a point).

In life, we could all use a little more step back time. Step Back time is that moment in which we pause to catch a breath and regroup before pressing forward.

When your spouse says something argumentative and you begin to feel the tension rise--it's step back time!

When your teenager smarts off at you (for the third time today)--it's step back time!

When your parent begins the lecture phase of a conversation without listening to your point of view--it's step back time!

When tempted by (fill in the blank)—it's step back time!

When facing a tough decision--it's step back time!

You get the picture. So, the next time you feel the blood pressure rising, take a step back. It could help you save much more than time.

"Oh Canada!"

This past weekend I traveled to Canada to speak at a youth conference, men's breakfast, preach a sermon and conduct a ParenTeen seminar. Yep, it was busy!

I had a great time meeting new people and seeing a part of North America that I had not seen before. I also had some new experiences in travel—I travel a lot.

Here we go...my first plane was struck by lightning and eventually removed from the flight line, we landed in Minneapolis, MN with a cross wind of over 45 miles an hour (fun to say the least) and my flight back to DFW was delayed almost five hours putting me back in Texas around 1 a.m. Oh, and the girl behind me puked in one of those "puke bags."

Travel issues can bring up all kinds of anxiety, fear and anger in people. My family, I am blessed, is rather casual (sometimes too casual when pushing the time limit on check in). We have a tendency to see delays and such as adventures and excuses to spend money at airport restaurants; others—not so much. People will gripe, yell, moan, use bad language (unfortunately I have witnessed this more than once—yeah adult role models!), and generally bring the joy level down when something does not go as planned. Last weekend was no exception—here comes the experiment.

They had just announced another delay and a few in the crowd began their downer "routine." However, the guy next to me was really enjoying the football game being played on the TV screens. I decided to talk to him about the game and comment on an instant replay. Yep, before long, both of our moods where lighter and patient with the delay. Soon after, a few other people began to laugh with us about the delay and how early it would be when we actually made it back to DFW. Social Experiment #2 was a success! A little positive infusion in to a negative situation does make a difference (again, that whole salt and light discussion of Jesus is coming to mind).

Disclaimer: Before you think I am a total saint of travel goodness, I too have had those "I can not believe this" moments (without the bad language) at airports in which I did not talk to the people around me, sat and pouted.

Our Fall Retreat is over and it was awesome!

Adults and students alike appreciated the challenging lessons brought by Pat Bills (way to go Pastor Pat—new preacher of the Highland Oaks church of christ) and enjoyed the times of worship and learning activities together.

It was a blast!

Exhausting, but a blast!

Setting up what I am about to say, let me be clear. First and foremost, it is God who creates truly powerful retreat weekends. We are simply vessels of that power. Without God, even the most creative retreat planning falls short (thanks, I feel better).

With that in mind, our staff pulls out all the bells and whistles for retreats. Although our imaginations are often limited by budget (we could not pull off the glider rides), we do pretty well at making things "pop" so we can help create the best experience possible. This weekend was no different. We had video, music, glider competitions, a gauntlet experience (easier seen than explained) and even made real rockets that were launched at the concluding gathering. All that and...it was the unprogrammed moments that God used the most.

When I started out in youth ministry I was way too stressed about the logistics and creative elements involved in retreat planning. Even though I still plan retreats with the same creative passion, I am not at all offended and actually have come to expect God to use the "planned" activities as spring board moments for his "planned" and "scheduled" work in the lives of teenagers and adult sponsors. This knowledge actually takes the stress out of retreat planning and adds a sense of expectation and excitement that God is going to show up and do more than we have "asked or imagined" (borrowed that phrase from the apostle Paul).

Now for the Youth Ministry Tid Bit. If you are a Youth worker or volunteer reading this blog, please continue to be as creative as possible when planning a retreat weekend. Students and adults are giving you a weekend of their life. Do something with it! Even so, this may seem rather contradictory, relax a little and don't take your abilities too seriously. Bath all of your planning in prayer and humbly ask God to take your creative, programmatic offering and do something awesome with it. Remember, if God doesn't show up nothing is going to happen anyway.

It is time for another observation from my nephew's Marine Corps graduation. Before the observation, let's review a lesson that is easily identifiable in scripture. Here it is: The decisions you make in life influence other people and the way they make decisions.

Examples of the impact made by not-so-good decision moments from a few Bible character greats:

Abraham's decision to trust in Egypt's resources during the famine in Canaan effected the decision Lot made to live in the land "like Egypt," Sodom.

David's decision to sin with Bathsheba brought a host of problems upon his house and the people of Israel. Consequently, the effects of David's decision lead to another decision by Absolum (his own son) to rebel against his father's rule.

Peter's decision to pull away from new gentile christians and hang with his jewish "brethren" lead others to descriminate against gentile believers.

Examples of the impact made by good decision moments from a few Bible character greats:

Abraham's decision to trust the LORD with the life of his only son led to the entire world being blessed by Jesus and leading countless others to follow the LORD in similar fashion.

David's decision to repent of his sin with Bathsheba marked the beginning of healing to his family's dysfunction and restored confidence in Israel's throne. His actions serve as a model for all those who have fallen into sin and desire to restore their relationship with the LORD and other people.

Peter's decision to accept Paul's correction and work towards a full acceptance of gentile believers has blessed all believers who are not of Jewish origin and continues to serve as an example of how vigilant the church should be in protecting the diversity of all her members.

The point is clear. Positively or negatively, the decisions we make do effect others. Now, back to the Corps.

Below is a picture of my son standing in parade rest position with his cousin Kevin. The picture was rather spontaneous and resulted from a simple request, "Hey Braeden, stand at parade rest with me and take a picture." Without a thought, Braeden imitated what he saw Kevin doing and it was done. Picture snapped!

Christian (adult and teenager) someone is watching your lead and will do whatever they see you do or do whatever you say, without a thought! Let's all take that responsibility seriously!

"It is going to be emotional" was the warning Mike Washburn gave me concerning the Marine Corps Graduation. And...it was.

My nephew PFC Kevin Buchanan graduated this past Friday from Marine Corps basic.  The ceremony was filled with all kinds of tradition and left the participants (marine and families alike) with a feeling that something special had just happened.  I will be talking more about our trip to San Diego in the coming days.  But for now, let me leave you with one little observation from the weekend.

Family and friends were invited on the Marine Corps Recruiting Depot (MCRD) base during Family Day and Graduation Day festivities.  A diverse group of people had assembled to honor their marine.  The diversity encompassed a number of social, ethnic, economic and even national groups. 

Here is the cool part. 

Outside of "church," this was the best mannered and respectful group of people I have been in the company of in a long time.  People used manners, language was kept in check, and respect was given to all in attendance. Yes, on Family Day, the new marines had to behave themselves because they were still being watched by their Drill Instructors--that was expected.  It was the conduct of the crowd that caught my attention. 

Why did everyone step up their behavior?  They were briefed by the Corps and told that this was a special occasion and that everyone deserves to have their marine and family honored. So, respect and courtesy would be the order of the day.  Well--it worked and it was awesome!  People opened doors, said "please" and "thank you," and generally acted  better than what you find in the local mall or sporting event.

I am not advocating marine corps boot camp for all of society (it is a thought).  However, how great would it be, if on the base(s) in which you are in command (family, school, athletics, church, etc.) an order of respect and courtesy would be issued as the standard for the day?

So, go ahead, call a meeting and raise the standard of conduct. You will like the way it improves the overall attitude of everyone.   

Again, more will be said of this awesome weekend later.  For now, here is a picture of my family with our new marine.

Exploding Bubble Gum!

Jason,the High school Youth Minister at 24:7,bought hundreds (if not thousands) of  gumballs to go into his bubble gum bank. Quickly Jason realized that the product he purchased was too large to fit into his machine.  As a result, because one man can only eat so much gum, Jason has been searching for ways to use the oversized gumballs.  He has used them as prizes, shared them with every "drop-in" and "appointment" office guest, used them in office pranks (my office has been rather colorful at times--that is what a gumball covered office floor provides)...and...he has used gumballs as weapons.

As you can see, gumballs explode! Oh, not spontaneously, but when thrown against solid objects such as a wall or desk they explode and leave all kinds of shrapnel (tiny pieces). 

A beautiful candy turned into a weapon of pain?  Yep--and it hurts!

A beautiful candy that adds color to an often dull, grey world shattered into tiny pieces of white?  Yep--and it hurts! (I am being a little dramatic here)

Here comes the point. How often do we use our words, which are able to bring comfort and add color to an often dull, grey world, as weapons that leave tiny pieces of painful memories?  Let's remember what Paul said,

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Eph.4:29

This is something both teenager and adult need to remember.

I want to use this blog spot to periodically let you in on the results of various "social experiments" I conduct.  These are not scientifically varifiable types of research activities. They are usually random hunches that I choose to react to in the moment (yes--the result of acting on such hunches is often fraught with social dangers).

Experiment #1

I had one piece of school supplies left to buy.  I had spent the previous afternoon in a 1 and 1/2 hour search for an extra-long pencil box--I came home empty handed (I am humored by how specific school supplies lists are becoming).  Yesterday, I walked into the store I knew had to have the extra-long pencil box on their shelves.  Success!  I grabbed one of the remaining three extra-long pencil box containers and started towards the check out line.   This moment marked the beginning of my "experiment."

No joke--there were at least 5 people in each check out line. And each line-stander had at least 20 items to buy.  I had one extra-long pencil box.  The opportunity for a social experiment developed fast.  People were frustrated (I could relate-one extra-long pencil box) and guarded their items and place in line with grouchy dilligence.  The random hunch reaction was launched--I smiled and chatted with the person standing in front of me about the line situation (yes, I talked to someone standing in line with me).

The Result?  They smiled, laughed and we both started ribbing a young lady who asked us to save her place in line so she could exchange an item (she did get her place back and enjoyed the humor).  The experiment carried on outside the store as I smiled and chatted with those walking into the crowded store.  Here is what I learned from this experiment:

A smile and chat lowered the anxious feelings of both those receiving the smile and chat and the one delivering the smile and chat (me). 

Try it and see what happens! 

Oh, I bet this will also work in families and groups of people when tension is high (don't ask me how I know this).